Thursday, July 9, 2015

Finding Freedom

"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us..."  Hebrews 12:1

The sin that so easily ensnares... entangles... traps... complicates... perplexes... snarls... tangles... burdens me.  The sin that bewilders me.  The sin that ruins me and the "us" that my life represents.  Even though it isn't the same for everyone, we all have a sin like this.  That one thing that continually creeps back into our thoughts and actions.  That one sin that captures our attention and makes us believe that it is necessary for whatever reason. 

I have one of those sins.  It has been a struggle for me since I was a young girl and introduced to a world I shouldn't have known about at that age.  Innocence intermingled with imagination, and my world changed.  The world inside of me changed while the world around me stayed the same.  The struggle, the battle for my mind began, and I guarantee you that my Savior will win! It's getting to that win that leaves scars.

Scars...Jesus' are visible as His body was pierced and ripped open.  Mine are invisible as I allow my heart to be shattered by my own choices.  Sometimes, mine are also visible as the entrapment of sin affects the ones I love and cherish.  I see the ugliness of heartbreak and pain, and I wonder how in the world I let that happen! When I have the power of the Almighty God living inside of me, why would I choose anything else? When I have the tools at my disposal to defeat the enemy who wants to destroy me, why would I not whisper the name of Jesus? One little word with great impact.

Words...powerful, life-changing, inspiring, imaginative words.  I love words and their ability to move me and create emotions as they are built upon one another.  Not only do words have the magical ability to transport me to another world, they also captivate my attention and lead to an escape and release from stress and even reality. And while I advocate for the use of the most excellent words, my perplexing sin can lead me straight to words that are not consistent with my teaching. They are not consistent with my Savior.  My Savior who provides freedom from this burden loves me and calls me to be free.

Freedoms...the blood of Jesus has set me free.  I am free from the chains of sin, even the most tiresome, complicated, familiar sin.  I am free from the harassment of Satan as he tries to lure me back in and destroy my world.  I am free from the heartbreak of disappointment in myself.  I am free from humiliation of admitting my addiction to the entanglement.  This freedom is sometimes only in knowledge as I search for it everyday. 

Everyday I must trust my Savior to guide me to His Him as He is Truth.  Everyday I must rely on Him and His precious name to remain free from the grip of sin and live in the grip of His grace. Everyday I am finding freedom.